HOW TO TALK TO YOUR PARTNER ABOUT SEXUAL ISSUES

Whether we are in a brand new relationship or have been married for forty years, when it comes to talking with our partners about sex, panic can often set in. 

Time Required: Allow as much time as possible.

Here's How:

1. Clarify the Issue for Yourself
   Sex is complicated, your feelings may have as much to do with your own baggage and history as with your partner. If something is on your mind, sit with it for a while and clarify what doesn’t feel right. 
2. Try to Write it Down
   DWriting down what you want to talk about is a great step to clarify your issues for yourself and practice the way you might communicate it to your partner.
3. Practice the Talk
   This doesn't work for everyone, but if you’re nervous about talking it can help to do some practice talking. If you have a good friend you can do this with, great. If not, going through it on your own can help.
4. Consider Your Timing
   One of the most important considerations is when to talk. This will depend a lot on what you are talking about. If you want to raise the idea of trying something new in bed, then raising it just before you’re about to be intimate with your partner is probably not a good time.
5. Choose Your Location
   As with timing, location can make a difference. Bringing up sexual dissatisfactions in bed can be a bad move as it may create an association of negativity in your bed. Both you and your partner may also feel more vulnerable in bed than you would having the conversation fully clothed, out for a late-night walk.
6. Allow Time for Processing
   Remember that your partner may be surprised by what you are saying. Give both of you the time and space to respond honestly without having to feel rushed or pressured. You may not be able to completely resolve the issue, or even talk about all the aspects of the issue in one sitting. Think about sexual communication as an ongoing process, not a one-shot deal.
7. Be Generous
   No matter how hard it is for you to bring up your sexual concerns, if you are the only one raising them, consider that it may be even harder for your partner. If you can, try to be generous with your partner and try not to place the blame too heavily on either of you. There are two of you in the relationship, and ultimately both of you need to take responsibility for what is happening.
8. Check In Afterwards
   Sometimes we can make ourselves so anxious about bringing something up with a partner, and then it goes not quite as bad as we thought, and we’re relieved, so we want to just move on. Give yourself permission to bring the topic up again. Don’t do it in a nagging way, but make it clear that your partner that you care about how they feel and you want to check in with them about how the conversation went.

Tips:

1. Keep in mind that every situation is different. These are general tips and your situation may call for many additional considerations.
2. Remember that your imagination can be your worst enemy when it comes to taking risks like this. The reality is that the response is almost never as bad as you think it will be, and talking openly about your sexual feelings, desires, likes and dislikes, can not only improve your sex life with your partner, it can improve other aspects of the relationship.

for more tips contact me by mail on:  sex.advice@yahoo.com
  every mail is confidential....wink*